My hubby and I just celebrated 11 yrs of marriage.
The girls very sweetly gave us a card
with the following acrostic...
(copied here as it was written)
Hope you have a nice day And lots of love and kisses Pride in 11 years Parents of three YOUR TRUE LOVE
AND MANY MORE YEARS OF MARRIAGE Never give up N\other & Father (major creativity points for this one!) Initials: B's Very Truly Yours Everlasting Love Romance Sweetheart And Hugs
"Remember our wedding?" YOURS FOREVER
How sweet is that?
How does this relate to Diabetes or Celiac?
Well, the card doesn't relate to D directly,
but our marriage does.
Let's face it...
when D enters your life, it enters EVERY part of it!
It's strange to think that D has only been a part of our marriage for 2 of the 11 years, but it has cemented a partnership in our care for the girls. I feel immeasurably blessed by my hubby's involvement in D care. It's real love IN ACTION! Seriously, why else would anyone be willing to wake up at all hours to check BGs so you can get more than two and a half hours of sleep at a time?
Yup, I think he loves us.
Scratch that.
I know he does!
That's a pretty great anniversary gift, don't ya think?
What a trip! Well, one of my friends would call it an "emotional journey". As Social Butterfly is fast asleep during this, the wee hours of her birthday morn, I retrieved "her box" from the top shelf in the closet.
The box contains all of the memorabilia and trinkets from her first year...her birth announcement, commemorative silver coin, first baseball, first Bible, the outfit she came home him, the bib her great grandmother sent her from the Salisbury Cathedral in England, and many other treasures that had been tucked away.
It was such a sweet walk down memory lane. Our lives were full, but simple. We lived in an apartment with my sister while my hubby and I were finishing our final year of our bachelor's degrees. My sister would watch the girls while I packed my Tuesdays and Thursdays with classes, so I could be home the rest of the week.
Daily life was filled with play-doh and crayons for History Buff, while Social Butterfly spent her day swinging, nursing and having her share of tummy time.
As a baby, SB was a dream.
She really was.
She was content wherever she was. She was, by far, my most compliant baby. It's much the same today. She is the first one to give something up if another is in need or just simply desires it. She's the first to sacrifice. She's the first one to offer a helping hand. She is a peacemaker with a tender heart.
While I long for the simple sweetness of her yesteryear, I realize that I am as blessed today as I was the first day I brought her home. More so, actually, as she has become a beautiful young lady who seeks to honor the Lord because her heart desires to.
Happy Birthday Social Butterfly!
Thank you, Lord, for this sweet daughter you have entrusted to us. May You always be her rock and your Word, her foundation. You have gifted her with such a servants' heart and I look forward to seeing how you use her to further your kingdom. Thank you for calling her into your forever family. Amen
Music. Ahhhhh. The Lord uses music in our lives all the time to bring hope and healing. We use music to praise Him. And often, both collide. He brings us hope and healing as we praise Him.
Hallie's excitement and enthusiasm for Chris Tomlin's "Our God Is Greater" song parallel's Joyful Monkey's enthusiasm for Matt Redman's "You Never Let Go". Not long after JM's diagnosis, we sang this worship song at church. If you had looked down our row, you probably would have seen many in our family wiping tears from their eyes. The lyrics are so fitting for a Type 1 Diabetic whose hope is in Jesus. It's one of Joyful Monkey's favorites and because it means so much to her, it makes me cry all over again.
In fact, worship time at church has become an emotional affair for me. Worship (corporately in song) has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Until a few months ago, I was a part of the worship team at church, but I just can't do it anymore without crying. And for awhile, that bothered me. Why was I crying? My faith is strong. I'm not questioning my faith. Why am I crying all the time?
Don't get me wrong. I'm not wailing, or even sobbing. But, many a tear slide down my face throughout our corporate worship time on Sunday mornings. And it's not only a happy cry when reminded that we aren't alone in our struggles. It's a BITTERSWEET cry. Bitter because T1D is no joyride. Sweet because we don't take the journey alone.
It was only recently I realized why I'm crying. It's a sacrifice. And sacrifices HURT.
Sacrifice demands surrender, does it not? It's a sacrifice because I'm giving up the "WHY?" and choosing instead to trust Him through the storm. Ultimately, it's the sacrifice of my dreams for His will. It's a constant choice. And sometimes, that HURTS! But even when it hurts, He is so FAITHFUL!
I could turn my back or shake my fist at God. I could be angry and resentful. It's a sacrifice to say "I don't know why you've allowed my baby to struggle with all of this pain but I still choose to praise and honor You because You are the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). You are the same post-T1D diagnosis, as you were pre-T1D diagnosis. And I choose to trust that you will work all these things for good because we love You (Romans. 8:28). Not my will, but Your's be done."
Okay, enough about me crying and back to Kelsey's favorite song. She LOVES the part when it says "Oh no, You never let go...through the calm and through the storm. Oh no, You never let go...in every HIGH and every LOW. Oh no, You never let go. Oh, you never let go of me."
She takes comfort in the image of Jesus hanging onto her in every HIGH and every LOW she experiences...a beautiful picture.
The song is on my playlist at the bottom of my blog. If you'd like to see the video, pause the playlist first. ; )
And just to throw it in, our family theme song that we chose right after her diagnosis..."Not Be Shaken" by David Ruis. No real pics but you can hear the song...
When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
The end of my rope? Yes & No! The last couple of weeks have been cuh-ray-zee! Three weeks ago, History Buff spent a week camping with my parents so we only had the Celiac Sisters at home with us. Last week Joyful Monkey did "grandparent camp" with my parents! We were supposed to go meet up with them at the beach on Saturday for the fourth of July weekend. Unfortunately, I came down with a fever on Friday night and just didn't feel like packing up on Saturday. Come Sunday evening, my fever spikes to 104.4.
It. was. NOT. good.
My parents came back from the beach Sunday night (because my Mom still worries about me). =) JM still stayed the night with them & my sister until Tuesday evening. Tuesday afternoon we took History Buff and Social Butterfly up to camp...their first camp experience without family. I wasn't about to miss seeing them off to camp no matter how I was feeling. I had been on antibiotics for 22 hrs. And by the time we returned home, I would have surpassed the 24 hrs. I needed so that I could see JM again without risking her exposure. I had missed the joy that girl brings to our home. I had missed HER!
Unbeknownst to me, I would be making a second urgent care visit and had less than a day with my baby before I had to let her go again.
I won't bore you with all the details of my 2 urgent care visits, the misdiagnosis, and the "evil" doctor. Suffice it to say, I have pneumonia. This accurate diagnosis was given to me last night.
I am so blessed to have people I trust to take care of Joyful Monkey. My husband would have gladly taken care of JM, but I didn't want her to be exposed being couped up in our house with me. And my Mom wanted him to be able to focus on my recovery, so my parents and sister have partnered in caring for JM. They have had their share of D-Care over the past two weeks and I know it's a lot to take on. But, they've done so happily and successfully!
My rope had come to an end, as far as being able to take care of JM with a level head. My mental capacity and physical ability swung back and forth, pendulum style...not the best way to care for a T1D child.
So thankful for both a Heavenly Father that loves and cares for me & an earthly family who loves and cares for me. I just have to hang on to the knot at the end while I'm recovering and let the rest of my family do the heavy lifting where D is concerned. But "man a livin' " (as my Mom would say), I MISS MY GIRLS!!! I can't wait to go get JM tomorrow and pick up SB & HB on Saturday! We haven't been a full family in 3 weeks!!!
Yeah, there may be a reason I can't process information like I used to. My thought-processing capacity is all used up! If only the ABCs were still simple. Boy, I miss "A is for apple"! =)
And, if I can't keep all of this straight for one diabetic and two celiacs, I can't imagine how Meri and Heather's brains functions with more than one diabetic child. My hats are off to you , ladies! You have amazing brain power!
As Promised...
First off, here are the softball pics I promised. Photo creds go to my friend Amy, our co-coach and "team photographer". Thanks Amy!
History Buff...
Joyful Monkey...
Celiac Softball Sisters...
Social Butterfly...
The last weekend of softball was our End of Season Tournament. We took second place in our bracket. The girls played so well, it was amazing! We're one of the youngest teams and we only had 9 players to fight for our second place. No one was able to rest, which made it a bit difficult with Joyful Monkey. She struggled with some lows throughout the games, but nothing a pump suspension and Gatorade couldn't handle (okay, so there is a little T1D in this post).
I think this was my favorite year of softball. History Buff pitched incredibly for her first year of pitching and Social Butterfly grew tremendously as a catcher (she even pitched a bit). Joyful Monkey did fabulously at short stop. That girl knows the game and can anticipate movement quick enough to analyze the play.
Oh, and can you spot the tummietote in Joyful Monkey's pics? It was our first tummietote and JM totally fell in love with it. We now have 2 more (gifts for her 2nd diaversary). Donna was incredible to work with. If you haven't tried a tummietote yet, you absolutely have to! You can find them here: www.tallygear.com
(You caught me again, more T1D talk...I guess I can't escape it even if I try .)
Tragic Loss...
Okay, so softball pics are easy to post. I've been wanting to write again, but my heart has been heavy and I'm just not sure how to keep writing without acknowledging what happened. Like somehow, if I just kept writing regular Diabetes or Celiac posts, I wouldn't be real or authentic; because what has happened has changed me. I'm a bit more emotional, a little more nostalgic, and a lot more purposeful in my relationships.
Last week, our family experienced a tragic loss. My 23 yr old cousin died in a car accident. I know how hard it's been for our family and can't imagine the pain that my aunt, uncle, and other cousins (his siblings) are going through.
We're a very close family and seeing my dear cousin's heart break has been an added heartache for me. Yet, even while her heart is broken, her faith is strong. She finds solace in the knowledge that her brother is in heaven with Jesus.
While watching my aunt & uncle deal with the loss of their son, I was so touched to see God at work. He gave them such grace and peace. And His sovereignty was so clearly evident as all the pieces of the past few months came to light. I pray they continue to feel his comfort and peace as a new chapter in their lives begin, a chapter without one of their sons.
From the day of the accident to the 4 days following, life was a sprint. Our lives were consumed with grieving and preparing for the memorial service. His memory was ever present and all consuming. Now, the marathon starts. Life has moved on, but the loss is ever present in the background as we continue with the rest of our lives.
I've assured the girls that it's okay to talk about him. (I think they're afraid they'll make me cry.) I want them to remember all of the good times they had with him. I also told them how each of them reminds me of him. History Buff and he had a common love for Adventures in Odyssey. This sparked trivia wars which HB would plan and prepare for weeks in advance. They both also claimed "I can't breathe" when being tickled. =) SB and he had a lot in common. They were both middle children who played the role of peace maker. Like him, SB cares more about who she's doing something with, than what she's actually doing. JM will remind me daily of him, because she has the same "light up the room" smile.
His loss has been another reminder to take advantage of each day we've been given. Don't let another day go by without telling your family (& extended family) that you love them. And, it's been a reminder that through it all, He'll never let go of us. Thanks for letting me share my heart. And, thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness!
