Monday, January 31, 2011

An Unfair Opponent...

This week, the DOC has heard of several who have lost their battle with T1D. Hearing these stories and the significance of each loss is devastating! I can't imagine what those families are going through; and to try would be to acknowledge our vulnerability as well. While we know that T1D can kill, we don't like to think of it. Yet, if we are honest with ourselves, it is a constant, ever-present thought. It is this very knowledge that drives us to set an alarm, pull ourselves out of bed at 3am, and drag ourselves into our child's room to check blood sugars. We do our very best to care for and watch over these delicate T1Ds.

The problem, however, lies in the fact that even if we were to do every single thing "correctly", T1D doesn't follow the rules. There are so many variables (growth, hormones, activities, nightmares, etc.), that we can never care for our children perfectly. It is in this helplessness, that we continue to do our best, hoping and praying that our child will always wake up the next morning. There have been so many mornings I go to wake up Joyful Monkey and I find myself holding my breath. I guess, I just know that I can't completely control it.

I do know, however, who IS able to control all of JM's blood glucose levels. I must rest in the knowledge of His sovereignty because I know my vulnerability and helplessness. We will walk this walk with the strength He gives us each day. We will pray for a cure. We will pray for those families who lost loved ones this week. And, we will hold our loved ones a bit closer as we're reminded of how fragile life is.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Cupboard Full of Carbs

I'm trying to reduce the daily carb intake for Joyful Monkey. Her basal to bolus ratio as of late has been about 25:75. Trying to get her to 50:50 is going to be a big adjustment. To meet this goal, I need to give her only 5.5 units of bolus each day. This is going to be tricky. As I'm contemplating exactly how this will look, I glance over at my cupboard to find it full of carbs.

I've got to come up with some tempting carb-free or very low carb snacks for her. Other than sugar-free jell-o, peanuts, and a spoonful of peanut butter, she's not really liking anything. She's pretty fickle with veggies. Sometimes she likes them, sometimes she doesn't. Any suggestions from all those wonderful, innovative D-Mamas out there?

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Dangers, Toils & Snares...

This evening, Joyful Monkey brought tears to her Mama's eyes. She was singing Amazing Grace at the piano while Papa played. The third verse really caught my attention. I'm not sure I had thought of it through the eyes of T1D before. Her sweet little voice, singing the truth of her life, was just too sweet.

"Through many dangers, toils & snares...I have already come.
'Tis grace that brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home."

So small and yet she's already been through so much. Sometimes, our journey with T1D makes the truths we know, even more meaningful.

The day has been pretty crazy, but ending it this way is precious. Yes, it's been a good day.

Thank you Lord, for the grace you give us each day!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

My First DOC Post

Dear DOC,

Well, this is my attempt at becoming a part of the DOC (Diabetic Online Community). I have to say, it is quite intimidating. So many of  you are such thoughtful and elegant writers.

While I have the layout "laid out", not all my tabs have been completed. I take that back...the tabs have been completed, but the pages they represent have not been written! Hopefully I'll take care of that soon.

We have been walking this crazy path since May 2009. We have learned a lot, but I can tell by what I read on your blogs that there is SO much more to learn! I look forward to being a more involved member of the DOC.

You have already (unknowingly) been such a great encouragement to me. I hope I can use this blog to encourage others too!

With great anticipation (& a bit of anxiety),